Secrets

I am a big fan of postsecret.  If you've never heard of it before you should check it out.   It's a simple idea.  People send in their anonymous secrets on postcards or in other creative ways to this cool guy named Frank.  The secret must be true and you cannot have told anyone.    Frank posts the secrets on a simple blog.  That's it.   What results is an incredible force that unites people and brings a bit more precious honesty in the world.   As of today, there have been 501 588 609 visitors.

 I always look forward to Sundays because that's when Frank puts up this week's secrets, full of angst, joy, truth, and the beauty of being human.

Part of me ponders the sadness that we were too afraid to speak our truth in person.  At least we had the courage to do something about it.

Today there was a really powerful secret that said " I feel guilty because I convicted my rapist."   It sent shivers sprinting down my spine and I couldn't help but wonder why we add so many unnecessary layers to our pain.  To that person - it wasn't your fault.  The Buddha calls what you are feeling the second arrow of suffering, if I remember correctly.  Loosely meaning - suffering exists.  That is ok.  It's when we shoot ourselves again with guilt or blame or any of those extra ugly add-ons that the pain really hits us.   Why shoot the arrow twice?  It already hit us in the heart.

Maybe we add on guilt because we don't feel comfortable enough feeling the initial suffering that is bound to exist.

Of course I have not mastered this skill.  I believe if we stripped everything down to the bare minimum we would find love.  We are always either acting in fear or love, and my counsellor once told me, choose love. Much easier said than done.  Fear cuts deep.  Love heals the wound.

So many times in my life I have kept secrets.  I am sad I have not always been truthful in expressing my negative feelings.  I push down the beach ball into the water and it bursts back with so much power.  I guess I don't need to be afraid of feeling anything.  Emotions are a guidance system not something that destroys.

Here's the song that's playing as I write this: